Sock Monster

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Please can somebody explain to me how this happens. I was doing one of my favourite jobs  in my new domestic role [insert sarcastic eyebrow raise here], sorting out a basket of laundry, and there was a massive clump of socks jumbled together. I laid them out on the worktop to match them up, and to my dismay discovered that there was not a single pair among the lot of them.

So I thought, “Right, this has gone on long enough. PowerDad is going to get this problem sorted once and for all.” So I proceeded to lay out every sock from the odd sock box, assuming that between the two batches of socks, I would get the majority of them paired up. Oh how wrong I was. I did manage to create 4 pairs, but the end result was that the odd sock box now has about 8 more socks in it than it did to start with. So my question is this:

WHERE THE HELL DO THEY GO?

The sock monster seems to follow us wherever we go, and he’s a very hungry chap. The current collection in the odd sock box only started just over a year ago, while we were lodging with my parents during renovations on our new house. The previous collection hadn’t survived the move.

But the point of the odd sock box is to enable you to pair up socks that get separated during the laundry process. How is it possible that it’s generally a pretty safe assumption that every sock that ever enters the whirling vortex that is the odd sock box will live there in eternal solitude, never again to be reunited with its mate?

It’s like the tragic scenes in southern Manhattan after 9/11 – notes pinned to walls desperately seeking lost loved ones, but secretly knowing they would never return. (Credit for that analogy goes to the lovely MrsH, who would probably have done a much more eloquent job of painting the picture had she been writing about it over at Four Down, Mum To Go.)

I even went to the extreme lengths this week of buying the twins a new pack of socks (I know, a dad doing something practical like buying underwear for his children. Almost unimaginable, right?)

I nearly went for the plain grey ones, but then I put them back on the hanger, realising that this was just too much temptation for the sock monster. Instead I opted for the days of the week socks, which at least are easy enough to pair up.

Of course I hadn’t factored in the massive row this would cause the next morning when two boys had absolutely no intention of being the one wearing Wednesday socks on a Thursday. In hindsight, I really should have bought two packs. But I wonder how long it will be before the sock monster gets his fearsome jaws around these new additions, leaving at least one the boys forced to have his right foot in Tuesday while his left is already on the weekend. The trials of domesticity continue…

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